"Charlotte! My grandmother..."

I visited my grandmother in her care home with my ex girlfriend one weekend, it was the first time she was going to meet her. As I walked into the room, and did the obligatory greeting and gave her a kiss on the cheek, she said,

"George dear, what are you going to do about your face?"

I was stunned. I laughed nervously and said,

"Sorry Grandma?"

"Well," she said, blunt as you like, "people do have to look at you dear!"

I have since concluded that she was referring to my beard. 

Charming. My ex found it hilarious needless to say!